Complaint No#11

Watching William and Kate's royal wedding was like watching a bag of mushrooms hanging from my ceiling.Don't get me wrong-it was exciting at first.As amusing as finding a bag of mushrooms dangling from my ceiling could be.But after that it got boring.Those mushrooms aren't gonna magically transform into a bridge made up of unicorn barf.Guess I'm not much of a wedding guy.

I thought that there would be special ops units swarming the perimeter or maybe even performances like in the Olympics.You know,dragons flying and fireworks and pom pom girls with mini skirts.I know that some of you wished something bad would happen.Shame on you.

But who am I to judge?It's good as long as they're happy.And I saw that on their faces.They've dated for half as long as I've lived.I'm sure they'll cope.