Complaint No#1

I got sat on by a whale.No joke.How did this happen?Well it all started when..*cue epic flashback scene*



Last week I was on a crappy bus ride to phuket.Now when I say crappy,I mean it.
For starters the seat was literally begging me to end it's pathetic miserable life,the air conditioning was shit and I'm sure that the other passengers were literally there to just piss me off.(If you're Spanish,it's you)

What's so special about that,you say?You've seen worse in Malaysia?

Okay then.But have you been sat on a whale before?If you have then you deserve an internet high five.If you haven't then..sucks to be you.

How this happened has to be blamed on the retards that managed the bus company.A bus can only sit 60 people.Do you cram 70 in it?Do I really have to ask you that?
But that's EXACTLY what happened on that fateful day.Hot and perspiring,some had the really uncomfortable experience of sharing their own personal space with strangers that were equally pissed off.

Then suddenly the bus shook with what a 7.0 earthquake must've felt like.A whale had just boarded the freaking bus.

She must've been the most poorly disguised alien I've ever met.Note that she was even wearing a striped shirt,completing her image of a wailord.This poor excuse of a woman decided that my shoulder would be a suitable eternal resting place for her right butt cheek.I shit you not.She sat on my shoulder.And she smelled like rotten maggot-infested fish eyes mixed in with a dash of despair and humiliation sour.I don't know what Thai people did.But if they were trying to sweat stink bombs,they've succeeded.

Luckily for me the gods decided that my torture would be sweet and short.The whale left my poor shoulder alone after the longest 30 minutes of my life.