Humans are natural born complainers.I just made the obvious seem,well,obvious.

Humans are natural born complainers.I just made the obvious seem,well,obvious.

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Complaint No#17

Inti's mass evacuation





08:27:24 NIAS REGION,INDONESIA. Magnitude 5.0 earthquake.
08:34:03 Received a text from Andreana claiming that our college was shaking.Disregarded as a joke and went back to sleep.
09:01:23 Woke up to the sound of alarm,hit snooze,went back to sleep.
09:05:00 Smashed alarm clock against wall,struggled to stay awake.
09:13:55 Went online.Remembered my text and did some googling.HOLY SHIT IT REALLY DID HAPPEN.Grimaced when i stepped on my broken clock.Smashed it again.
09:42:09 Finally left for college.Grimaced over the thought of buying a new clock.
11:06:41 NIAS REGION,INDONESIA. Magnitude 4.6 earthquake.
11:07:11 Felt a gentle swaying at Level 6,building was actually moving.Mass evacuation of students.
16:20:09 Gasped as Professor X was shot in the ass.
16:44:36 Found the magical shop that sells rainbows and magic,Daisho.Grimaced at the fact that they weren't selling any alarm clocks.
17:53:22 Grimaced at the sight of bald disfigured rats at the pet shop.
22:13:10 Grimaced at the thought of buying a new clock.Took out my spare alarm clock.Still have 364 of them.






Monday, 13 June 2011

Complaint No#16.5


All right you miserable bag of potatoes.I know you've been following and watching me the whole day.

And the guy you sent on stake-out?Never in my life have I seen such a suspicious looking crow with binoculars around his neck.If you desire more information,I'm very much happy to oblige.Just stop trying to hit me with turd bombs.









As far as I've figured out,the blue stuff I picked up were casings of 12 gauge shotgun shells.I don't know which idiot would fire a stray of shotgun slugs inside a residential area with just 3 colleges next to it,but I'm pretty sure they work for the government.

The shells have "SME RIMBA" printed on one side of it,which I'm guessing is a local ammunition trading company.

There have also been rumors of bounty rewards on dead crows.You birds might want to look into that.Now lay your filthy beaks off my back.

Sunday, 12 June 2011

Complaint No#16

Dead crow-ss15,somewhere near Taylor's college.
He saw a dead crow
in a drain
near the Post Office,
He saw an old man
gasping for air
And a baby barely able to breathe
In a crowded morning clinic
This land is so rich
Why should we suffer like this?

I want clean air
For my grandchildren
I want the damned fools                                         
To leave the forest alone,
I want the trees to grow,
The rivers run free
And the earth covered with grass.
Let the politicians plan how
we may live with dignity
Now and always
Shell casings I picked up at the scene of the crime.

Gunshots really do sound like fireworks.But unlike the cheery combustion patterns one would expect,a gunshot brings more..malice,and death.

Maybe it was because I've played so many first person shooter games before,or maybe it was just human instinct.I somehow recognized the sound of firearms.I had the lingering suspicion that it was a rifle or shotgun  of some sort,but the darkness of the night concealed the faces of the shooters.

They were shooting to kill.In front of Taylor's.
And then I walked into a 7-Eleven to get my chewing gum.
Shell casing of a shotgun(online sources)
-THE END-

PS:In case this turns out to be a homicide investigation,please do not implicate me with the crimes involved.You can find the shell casings at my bottom right desk drawer.
Please don't shoot me.I hate getting shot.

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Complaint No#15


Today was laundry day.I have to confess.This was the first time i did it unsupervised.I actually felt more nervous than the day i sat for SPM.

I was half hoping that some magical genie would pop out from the bubbles and help me.I imagined he would've looked like this:

I had a dozen questions.Should I jump into the spinning vortex?Should I throw my class C biological hazards(socks) inside?But the genie came unanswered.

Then all of a sudden,with half of my arm still inside,the machine spun itself twice.I didn't scream like a shemale on steroids,but I did shout out some things I would regret in my later life.
*Landlord:If you're reading this,I swear I didn't make the dent on your washing machine.I think it was my roommate.Peace.

And after a long day of laundry(like 45minutes),I was all set to dry my clothes.
And then it rained.Son of a bitch.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Complaint No#14

My mathematics lecture started off easy,with the introduction to numbers all over again.It was like strolling through a garden of primroses with wings to slowly levitate you.

Then came today's crash course to hell,on roller skates,without your precious protective gear.My lecturer is really good at mindfucking people.If you were to do 4 questions,I'll bet that 2 are actually unsolvable,and he put it there to test and of course,mindfuck with us.Who actually knew that 1+1=1 could be proven wrong?


And what's worse is..we're still on page 1.Better bring aspirins for my next lesson.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

No Complaint#A request

Dear Mr Life_rocker,

         My life is as interesting as watching paint dry.Unless of course,watching paint dry is one of your hobbies as well,then maybe we could hook up and I could tell you my life story as we watch paint dry.

          As for the constitution of our beloved country,I can't say much because,pretty much everything in it is taboo for 'people with bad intentions',as they coined it.My blog post would probably go like this:

"Well,the entirety of -post removed by the ISA- is of unheard of -post removed by the ISA-,and the -post removed by the ISA- should not be held with such high -post removed by the ISA-.In this golden era of peace,why is it that -post removed by the ISA- and freedom of speech is so -post removed by the ISA-?Perhaps -post removed by the ISA- is not the right mindset for the liberal society of our current generation."

I would though,describe the lives of Chinese and Bumis equal that to Hakens and Anders in the book Soul of The Fire,by Terry Goodkind.
The Anders were a primitive race that scavenged their way through life by picking fruits and hunting wild animals.Then one day the Hakens,with their more advanced technology invaded the Anders' land.With the Hakens they brought knowledge,technology,and most importantly,peace.With each passing decade the Anders assimilated more of the Haken's technology,and the Hakens saw them as their equals.Then one day,after the Anders seized control of the government,they killed every educated Haken-and enslaved the remaining ones.The future Haken generations were taught that they were murderers,rapists,beings with corrupted souls.They weren't allowed equal rights to the Anders.They were rejected the chance of an education.Their very history books consisted of cleverly manipulated truths,and the Hakens truly believed they deserved no more than being the slaves of the Anders.

Sounds familiar to you?Well let's leave it that way.Oh and by the way,both Hakens and Anders died very horrible deaths.

              PERKASA you say?Sorry I couldn't hear you over the laughter in my head.I for one hate adding insult to injury.

And that's it.Sincerely,by Jason.