Complaint No#13

There are two things in this world that last for just two seconds:The scent of a hot girl when she passes you,and the duration of a traffic light at 3am in the morning.

I swear to God that every single green light changes to red just to piss me off.And to answer your previous question,yes,we do have cars in Malaysia.We do not ride kerbaus to work.

You know the feeling,where you're refilling your car's petrol,and it ends just nice at the brim and you haven't wasted a penny?Well this felt like overflowing petrol that scalded your skin and blew off the whole gas station only to have you be labeled as an Al-Qaeda terrorist.No exaggeration there.

As if flying cows and grannies that can run as fast as 60km/hr weren't one of my biggest worries yet..

No Complaint#I swear not to swear

Looking back at my previous posts I discovered that I wasn't exactly a polite person.Making use of profanities is like peeing.You do it in private and not publicly,unless you're a sick bastard.Hurling profanities at one another is like peeing on each others' shoes.Either side smells like (NH₂)₂CO and the society frowns upon you.So from now on I *will* try my best to refrain myself from using them.Cheers.

Unless of course,I can't find any suitable way to express my frustration like when the fucking whale sat on me at Complaint No#1.

Complaint No#12

It is of my utmost regret to inform you that the world's renowned author of New York's best selling series Hide and Seek:The Saga and Kehidupan Seharian Osama,Osama bin Laden was finally discovered and made 'it' today,after holding the world's record for the hide and seek championship of 10 years.This ended streak led to massive celebrations in America,most notably Obama's speech about how his team managed this largest feat in the world of Hide and Seek.Osama was consequently offered a sea palace for his contributions to the world.

Source:Turn on your fucking TV.

Complaint No#11

Watching William and Kate's royal wedding was like watching a bag of mushrooms hanging from my ceiling.Don't get me wrong-it was exciting at first.As amusing as finding a bag of mushrooms dangling from my ceiling could be.But after that it got boring.Those mushrooms aren't gonna magically transform into a bridge made up of unicorn barf.Guess I'm not much of a wedding guy.

I thought that there would be special ops units swarming the perimeter or maybe even performances like in the Olympics.You know,dragons flying and fireworks and pom pom girls with mini skirts.I know that some of you wished something bad would happen.Shame on you.

But who am I to judge?It's good as long as they're happy.And I saw that on their faces.They've dated for half as long as I've lived.I'm sure they'll cope.

Complaint No#10

I am now convinced that partial electrical outages are invented to annoy the hell out of customers.Your TV works.But none of the lights or fans do.

And when your fan works.Your TV's fried and the computer's 2 rooms away with no ventilation.It's one of those instances when you have to go real bad,and you do-only to realize you're still deep under your covers and you just wet your bed.But it was a good experience though.For half an hour I enjoyed the world without the technology it offered.And then mother Earth decided to piss me off by raining and covering the starry skies and making the atmosphere gloomy and the air humid and hot.Thanks,Earth.You're awesome.I had to shower in darkness though.Yes,we do have showers in Malaysia.We do not live on trees.

Picture:Utter.Complete.Darkness.Save for the mysterious white light that disappears when I think about it.Weird.

All was cool until I had the very horrible thought that in every dark corner I couldn't see,there was a fairy hiding there.

Waiting for me.Just...one trip and they'll be all over me.

Picture:It's a fairy.

Complaint No#9

Some of you may have heard of it,some of you may not.But here's the story.A few days back I rescued an advertisement pamphlet from the jaws of my dog.My dog literally eats my mail alive if left unattended.

So anyways this flier was about Pizza Hut's "WOW SAVERS 50% DISCOUNT" offer.Apparently you can get this huge delicious looking pizza for around 5 ringgit.Oh my god.Food of the gods mang.I gotta try this.Right?
Oh so fucking wrong you are.This,like many other fast food franchises are full of shit.(You're next on my list,KFC)I'll just use the thursday pizza as comparison.Look at the ad.It's full of prawns and pineapples and cheese and nectar of the gods.Surely a quick look would account to 20-30 toppings on the pizza.How bad can it be?



 Well,this bad.See the knife right there?It's around 20 centimeters long.And the pot right there?

Oh yeah.The fucking pizza.I wouldn't go so far out of a limb to call my food a bowl of shit.But it was a bowl of shit.And a small one at that too.It had like 3 pineapple slicing on it,half a fistful of tuna and probably 2 sliced prawns on it.

And the pizza came in 4 slices.One slice was approximately 5 centimeter long.Sorry I didn't get the chance to take the pizza's picture.But the why the fuck is the pizza so small thought struck right after i finished the pizza off.That's how puny it was.To make matters worse I had to wait 20 minutes for this.Curse you,PH.I'm never ever coming back.

Complaint No#8

Once upon a time,there lived a joyful stallion.He believed that every horse in the world had a heart of gold-be it black horses,brown horses or even those majestic white horses.


He,like the others in the herd had no problem accepting each other.Horses were of course,beings with pure hearts.

Then one day,a horse that didn't look quite right,wandered into the herd,it did not ask to be part of them,it just simply..existed there.

The stallion began questioning himself.This horse seems different..I wonder if he'll be able to fit in?He pondered.

Nevertheless,they accepted the zebra into the herd,despite his uncanny appearance.Horses were of course,beings with pure hearts.

 

Then one day,lions invaded the horses' turf.Try as they might,horses just weren't meant to fend off lions.

Much of the herd perished..save for the stallion and the zebra.

The zebra escaped because he knew the lions were coming.Yet he never warned any of the horses.
Zebras were of course,aware of the dangers lions offered.

The young stallion was dumbfounded.The zebra was indeed different.Zebras were of course,beings without a pure heart.The stallion finally understood that.A zebra could never be a part of the horses.

Now he sees that.The zebra joins his own herds of zebras.Leaving the stallion to his unlawful fate at the wilderness.

Horses are beings..with pure hearts.But that does not mean their hearts will not break.